10+ years ago, I had a moment of realization. I realized that I was good at things but didn’t like them.
To some that may not be a huge revelation but it was a major one for me. I’d always been trained to do what I was good at. Being good at something was more important than liking it.
And so, over time, you convince yourself that you like those things that you’re good at, whether you actually like them or not.
So realizing that while I was good at something, I didn’t actually like it was a huge breakthrough for me.
Today, I had a truly terrible day at work. Perhaps the worst day I’ve had since I left my old job.
But as I prepare to close this day out, I’m trying to take something, anything positive out of it.
And what I’ve come up with is the realization of things I’m doing in this work that I’m good at but don’t like.
Project management, building processes, managing processes, and organizing and structuring things.
I’m good at all those things.
I hate them.
I find them tedious, boring, soul-sucking and just mind-numbingly uninteresting.
All of these involve fine detail work and generally (from my point of view) little creativity. It’s building a crank and turning it. Moving people and things around. I can do it if I have to, but I don’t want to.
I did today too, though, find something that was a true tonic for this for me. I like writing and crafting things. Things that are simple, clear, complete and accurate. I like taking raw data and turning it into a story. Particularly one where no one else can see the story for the data.
Not a grand set of revelations. But still good to know. And certainly important enough for me to note down here.