If you’re a B5 fan like I am, you understand this title. If you’re not familiar with the show, I’d say go watch it now! But for now, understand that these two questions form the fundamental existential questions that underpin the series. They act as poles between which people act, forming the complex that is the Self for the characters of the show.
But these questions have been in my mind a lot lately. Let’s face it: I’ve come to find myself in the midst of one of the biggest periods of change in my life.
There’s practically no area of my life that hasn’t been touched with loss of some kind in the past five years. When I sit down and do the math, I realize that’s the scope of this arc of change I’m in: it really started five years ago when our cat was diagnosed with a nasal tumor. Since that day there’s been a progression of loss that has precipitated change and growth.
Couple these changes with some pretty major changes within myself, and it leaves me to have to face these very fundamental, existential questions. Who am I? What do I want? Because, the answers to those questions that I had in the past simply don’t fit any more.
There are no answers in this post. This post really is about setting the table with the questions. This post is about outlining the likelihood that there will be most posts in this vein, working through these questions.
I think though, I have figured out that this period I am in is truly a crucible because those are used to melt and destroy materials to enable the creation of new things.
And perhaps I’m finally coming out of this period and starting to see the gains at long last.